Is fear rith maith ná drochsheasamh: October 2010

A little over 5 months ago I promised myself I would do the Chicago Marathon on 10-10-10 and I did it! Oh what a day it was! It began super early. I was up and out of the house by 3am to be in the city parked and ready to go by 4am as planned. The coach and I headed to the START then only to learn that we could not go down certain streets and had to re-navigate our route to the START. At this point we had already added an extra mile onto our day but we finally got to the START LINE and began at 4:25 a.m. I was so excited to see the first mile marker. It was all so real now! Only 25 more to go! I got this. Met many volunteers out there on the streets setting up the water/gatorade stations...all were so confused on why participants were coming through already. Many would make silly comments that we were cheating but I obviously wasnt in this event for the win or the money...well not completely true on the win..I was in it to win it for me. To know that I could do it! So, we kept trucking along with only the street lights to light the path so that I could occasionally look to the map to reassure myself that I was following the set course. So, up through the Lincoln Park Zoo, through the northside neighborhoods we went passing miles 2-8. I'd always shout right away .. there's mile 2, then 3 etc. etc. Timing was going well, the sun was starting to rise finally. (pic taken @ 6:45am)

I felt ok, my stomach was a little sensitive, not sure if it was nerves from the event, or if it was from something I ate the night before or both. Who knows!
So, thank goodness there were portajohns. Not to mention a 7 eleven for me to stop into on Broadway (or maybe it was Clark street at that point) for a banana in hopes it would help. Which it did! Then, back down from the northside to the loop I went. I loved seeing the party that the volunteers were having already on the streets (which was super amazing seeing as many of them were out there as early as 6am) and they were seriously rocking it out! Dancing, singing, clapping, trust me ... the music was rocking out loud (so sweet!) As I rolled through Boystown there were many awesome costumes worn by a number of the volunteers. Alot of drag going on as well. And I really think the volunteer station theme in boystown was SUPERMAN seeing as they all wore a SUPERMAN symbol on their shirts. The streets were slowly becoming filled with spectators, they had already been blocked off...seeing as I saw many of Chicago's finest 5-0's blocking off any possible street that a car could travel; to get onto the course route. Down into the loop I went conquering miles 8 thru 12.

I remember hitting mile 11 and thinking I can do this... even tho I started feeling the first blister on my right foot had formed. Somewhere around this point too there was a course official who was the one of the bikers who rode the course ahead of the elite runners. The official rode over to me and told me I needed to move to the sidewalk that the runners were coming through. Normally I'm a pretty passive person who woulda been like ok sorry! Not today, I looked the boy right in the eye...(and yes he was a boy..maybe barely 21 yrs old) and pointed to my bib and told him..." I'm a participant too! that i wasn't moving off the street!" His reply...oh ok! I know he was doing his job...but I deserved to be there. Espcly after being out there since 430am and completing 11 miles..I wasn't going anywhere but straight ahead!

So on I went down to Adams eventually Passing Old St. Pat's and then on I went again awaaaaays out west to Damen Ave. Man! Damen Ave was way further away then I had remembered. The hard part then was not only the blister...but I knew the streets..I was too familiar with knowing that I'd hit Canal, Halsted, Throop, Loomis, Racine, Ashland, and finalllly Damen(and those were just the bigger street names). But before doing that I hit the 13.1...I was finally half way...but then the blister on the left foot set in as well! I could barely walk now bc every time I tried to push it harder to move faster and keep going..i'd end up stepping wrong and the blister would roll in my shoe and just become extremely uncomfortable. Shortly after that I began getting this sharp pain on top of my left ankle. My first thought was yeah that my foot had swelled and that maybe my sock was too tight now. So, i got over to the curb and rub it out. That'd help a little but then I thought maybe the shoe was too tight. So again, I got to the curb and loosened up the shoe. That helped a little as well but then it returned. Still just thought I got to move forward but I could feel I was slowing down. I definetly had lost my pace timing! :( But, I didn't give up...just kept at it. So by miles 11 on for sure the streets had become completely filled with spectators lining the sidewalks, and they were cheering people on. They were cheering me on! It was so awesome! My coach had suggested that I put my name across the front of my shirt so that people would know who I was so they could cheer me on....Complete strangers cheering me on! So in my world...the SPECTATORS ROCKED! When I was having a mind battle that I couldn't go any further...I'd hear someone shout "Keep it up Kerri ..ur doing great!", or "Its just a battle of your mind!, you've got this!" the spectators would shout what mile was coming up and how much further ya had to go. They were seriously absolutely amazing and definetly are an important part of the event. I'd see signs that many of them had made too...some of my fav's throughout were the ones that read "Free Beer Ahead!". Any year that I am not participating in the Marathon....I want to be there to support all of the future runners on their Marathon experience because without those millions of people....I know I woulda lost my mind battle and gave up!
So after finally reaching Damen Ave it was back east to Halsted.

These miles were getting tougher and tougher but I knew I had people ahead that gave up their day and their time to see me out there and I couldn't not see them. Because trust me I could think of a number of reasons as to why I should and could quit...but deep deep deeep deeeep deeeep down I just couldn't. Really wanted to tho! I did have my phone on me and occasionally when I would step to the side to rub out my left ankle bc it still was incredibly sore. (I could feel this non stop sharp pain in it...and still had no clue how to make it go away!) So anyways, occasionally I would glance at my phone and would see some texts that came through of people cheering me on from afar. One's saying "go kerri, go!" , one that came through from Alek (the 11 yr old I mentioned in an earlier post) that said "Keep on running, I know you can conquer this race!" I nearly broke into tears at that moment..this kid believed in me...why couldn't i believe in me! (He's obviously good at getting in my head and making it count when it needs too! Thank you again Alek! I couldn't be a quitter now...no matter how much it hurt. Why was I sooo weak....so I bucked up and kept going! Later that night, I texted Alek back and thanked him..bc his text was exactly what I needed at that moment to push through. So, on I went knowing that somewhere ahead I would see family and friends! :) I knew I had to get back to Halsted and Jackson...Jill lived right there and I may see her. (she's been a great supporter throughout it all too.) Unfortunately I didn't get to..but that's ok. It was what I needed to strive for so that I could keep going ahead. It was right after that at mile 17 that I got to see my sister Col..and she brought me water like I had asked the night before. Even though there was water out there all day...I needed more..It was sooooo HOT out! The bottle I had on me was just about gone and with the water out there being kinda far spread out I needed to have that one on me as well!

Col snapped a couple of pics of me...Harassed me that she was walking faster than me at that point! Brat! LOl! obviously anyone would be that hadn't done 17 previous miles! :) Then we parted an on I went...only 9 miles to go right...doesn't sound that bad..i've done 9 miles before...but I didn't have the blisters or the pain in the left ankle those days. Didn't really matter tho...there was still so much more to see..which by the way...the Chicago Marathon is an amazing way to take a tour of the Beautiful City we live in! It really could not have been a more amazing experience...beautiful weather in a beautiful city...with amazing people! Onto miles 17 thur 20 as they too were difficult...same symptoms...but I was hoping around 20 i'd see some more of my people. The route from there was to take Taylor street to Ashland and then down to 18 the street where I would return back to Halsted. 18th was another party street! There were DJ's out on the sidewalks...ROCKING OUT some upbeat music..it was like a parade party the whole way back east. Pilsen and 18th street was truly one of my fav parts of the Marathon even tho I was ready to call it a day! So back east I headed from Ashland Right around mile 19 tho this kid..and yes a kid (maybe 14 or 15)...his name was Kwan (i think that's how it's spelled) stopped next to me and started walking along side of me. Just before he did I was having another fit in my head that I couldn't take it anymore..I knew if I called my mom she'd make my brother come get me and it'd all be over! But, still I didn't want to quit. Well, Kwan started talking to me...he walked along side of me distracting me from my own thoughts. The supporters were still shouting out to me..and it was great but you still get caught up in your own thoughts sometimes! Anyways, he proceeded to tell me this was his first marathon. He was running with other runners from his schools' team and that he was struggling too. He said he was in a pain and I offered him the last of my water so that he could take it with a pain killer. He was exactly what I needed to make it around the corner to get to that mile 20 where I just kept hoping I'd see another familiar face. Kwan was one of the many runners out there that gave me kinds words to keep moving forward! There truly were so many that would be walking or running by and would pat me on my shoulder and say "Keep it up Hannan...you're doing Great!" I'm tellin ya...the runners world are phenominal people...it has got to be one of the most friendly sports! :)

Turns out my cousins, Marcy, Jess and Liz (w/tommy) were out there waiting for me. Marcy had been trying to track me down all day which I hadnt known until I saw her. So, Marcy and Jess jumped in do some miles with me! Thank Goodness! bc it really helped to take my mind off of what I was doing! My advice to any future Marathoners....have people meet you at miles to do them with you! It makes moving forward easier! So east through Bridgeport we trekked right into Chinatown where I would see my Mom and Lil Bro Patrick! :)

They too had brought me water! At this point, the water was being poured on my head by me and then I would also drink part of it! Chinatown was another party street! Many spectators and people dancing around in costumes...absolutely amazing! Down wentworth I went as I would meet up with my older bro Tommy & Jodi, and Baby Tommy, Lizzy and Luke. Yes Baby Luke was there to see me at only 3 days old! Seeing them made my day...my bro snapped a pic of me with them but it seems it didn't save...but they were there and had waited for me to arrive! Soooo Cool!

By this time, I was finally on my way to mile 23. I knew I wasn't going to quit now..I had completed 23 miles, there was no turning back! Obviously! There was no calling mommy to come save me! I had to do it! I could do it! It'd hurt...but I'd heal! The reward for finishing would be way better than facing myself in the mirror the next day...when id have to admit I was so close and couldn't do it! Not to mention facing all the supporters and having to repeat over and over that I had failed myself! I know people are understanding and they would totally sympathize with me! As am I ... but I wouldn't have forgiven myself for coming so far and quitting! That's what I'm trying to get at! I didn't want sympathy...I wanted success and to prove to myself that I could keep the committment I had made to myself so many months before! I believed I could do this!

So onto mile 24 Marcy, Jess and I went and Thank Goodness again they were out there with me ... to support me and to keep me distracted from what I was actually doing! :) Just before mile 24..there was a music schools marching band! They were pretty darn sweet too! Marcy suggested that they should follow us the rest of the way...I agreed but feared they'd catch up to me and eventually pass me. Bc at this point...I was told I was moving forward but I sure didn't feel like I was. My lil chubby legs could barely move one in front of the other...the pain in the ankle had gotten sharper, much worse than from when it began back at mile 13. Ever since then I was constantly stopping off to the side to rub it out and try to keep going ... at one point I had Marcy rip the sock in hopes that it would relieve and pressure on my foot. That's when I realized that wasn't the problem...bc that didnt work at all! Just pass mile 24 tho I would see Justin (Marcy's son) and Maggie (Jess's sis) they were working one of the volunteer stations for their school. I had known that the week before too so all along I knew I had to make it to see them too! So finally I was there on Michigan Ave...I knew it was the home stretch of the miles...didn't make it too much easier but it did give me light at the end of the tunnel. I parted from Marcy, Jess and Liz around 29th ave...I knew I had to get to 1200 S. (Which is Roosevelt Street) I still had 17 CITY blocks to go! All suburbanites(i grew up in the burbs) make CITY block references bc their so darn long! lol! Not soooo funny anymore! :) The Chicago Firehouse Rest was near mile 25 I knew I just had to get there next bc that's where my Mom and lil Bro were meeting me and possibly my aunt, and cousins....baby steps, baby steps! I could do this...I knew at that point I'd never make it back to the finish before the allowed 6:30:59 timing..it sucked! but at this point...what did it matter. I did it! I wasn't there yet...but I would be soon.

Again, I remember stopping and rubbing out my left ankle and I stopped to look at my phone again. There was a message from my friend Sarah.."Keep it up friend, you're doing great!" and then another one "You're almost there, We're right by Roosevelt Hill and you're closin in! :) go, go, go!" I knew I had to pass the firehouse now...even tho I knew that was where my car was and if I had to call it a day due to physical inability..I would there...but not anymore..there were more people waiting to see me closer to the finish line! The spectator numbers had dropped but there were still people out there pushing you on...it was great! Finally, I reached the firehouse. I saw my Mom :) my lil Bro :) and then....my Aunt Mars, my Cousin Meg and Lil Peanut (cousin Kel). YEY! they came out too...I gotta do this! These people have been waiting for me, theyve been rooting me on all along, all today! I can't quit..the adrenaline kicked in and I kept at it. My aunt says then "hey we're gonna jump in and finish with you!" I said come on...and they did. Unfortunately, they were asked to leave the course just before turning onto Roosevelt hill. Oh yea...best part of my aunt jumping in...was when she did...she took off like a bat out of hell. I leaned into my cousin and said.."why is she going so fast?!" we all just laughed but I couldn't keep up with her! Well, here I was...only 2 blocks to go! I made the turn after parting with the fam and I look ahead and I see Sarah and Kristin. I made my way to left so I could high five them and keep going. I had to get there so this pain could stop (cuz I really thought once I got there it'd all be over! lol!) I finally made it to them, while still hearing so many supporters cheer me on! You got this kerri, great work today! and so on, and so on! Lots of Go Kerri, Go Kerri! :) So awesome! I high fived the girls, thanked them from coming and kept moving forward! Then I noticed another familiar face! My cousin Dan and his wife Debbie were there! I had held back the tears for a number of miles now and hear I was faced with another outburst. I gave them both a hug and a kiss, wiped the tears and moved on! So many people stilllll cheering! Go Kerri, Go Kerri, Go Kerri! Ay I was a mess now...the tears of joy...words cannot even begin to express how great I felt for I was about to finish! I turned that final corner...had maybe half a block to go and I see Marcy, Jess, Liz and Tommy again! They had returned to the finish line to see me cross!

That's me in the red crossing the finish line! YAY!
OMG ... my family and friends are the most amazing people in the world! I also heard from many people that they had saw me out there even tho I didn't get to see them. My mom's friend Pat texted her when she saw me, my friend Heather was out there and saw me and was cheering me on and my cousin Colleen her husband Don was out there and saw me too and was cheering me on. There were many times I'd here my name and not know where it was coming from...SO TO ALL OF U TOO...THANK YOU SOO MUCH!
On 10-10-10 I crossed the finish line in just under 10 hours..(yes...probably the worlds slowest Marathoner) but I did it and noone can take that away from me! And yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat....Well just as soon as I heal properly and train more! I wanted out of the blocked off area tho! I never heard the announcers say to keep going to the end of the block to claim my medal.(So, I am still working on obtaining that!) I wanted and needed to get back to different shoes, to my car and to get the heck off of my feet! Once I found an exit, I walked through and pulled out the phone again. I saw another message that had come in from my friend Jackie saying that she & her sister Cynthia were out there at the finish line looking for me! I couldn't go meet them but sent them to meet me back at the firehouse where I would come back and celebrate the finish! The after party for the Special Children's Charity was held at the firehouse restaurant .... when I finally returned I was greeted by Susan the lead gal for this fundraiser...she's another amazing gal who has been a huge part of my fundraising efforts and has made the experience a joy to be a part of for such an amazing charity. So, I hadn't mentioned the coach in a while, she had returned much earlier than I when I did finally make it back to the car/firehouse she was leaving ... COACH...thanks for all of the support and training days, and tips and just everything throughout...wouldn't have been successful without ya! So, this is just another milestone in the journey I set out to do 5 months ago! People have already said I am crazy for saying I'd do it again! But, I will. I learned so much about myself today and what i am capable of! It did hurt! But, well worth it! and yes I am looking forward to starting to train again for next years .... just as soon as i heal...more on that too come! There may things I realized I left out! So if you're a follower....stay tuned...there will be more to come! Thanks again to you all! Peace!